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that1aznguy
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Name: Minh
Country: United States
State: Washington
Gender: Male
Interests: Soccer, swimming, tennis, snowboarding, sleeping, girls
Expertise: None
Occupation: Student
Industry: Business - Accounting
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  dat1asianguy
Member Since:
6/17/2003
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| This is a two part entry; the first is the ending of my academic career, and the second is my general ponderance.
Part 1: My random yapping about how lazy I am
As of this moment, I am 5 class days away from the end of my 17 years
academic career. I am officially in useless mode. One of my
prof sent me an email today, saying she thinks she might have misplaced
my paper. In fact, I have not yet turn that paper in. Even
though our academic schedule have been vastly reduced, I still feel
completely worthless. I have five classes this quarter, one does
not have a final, two classes have had the final canceled, we will play
a Deal or No Deal type game for our final grade in another, and the
last one is a take-home group final. I have barely done any
school work for about 3 weeks now and is officially the laziest person
on the face of the earth.
This, of course, continues the trend of my academic drop-offs towards
the end: high school, undergrad, and now graduate school.
Part 2: Why am I selfish?
I just found out from my dad yesterday that his half brother
(same mom) passed away over the weekend. He went to see his mom
and took care of his brother's funeral. Here's the context.... my
dad's parents divorced when he was very young, and then had families of
their own. Neither took care of him, and my dad was raised by foster
parents. Years later, thru hard work and education, my parents
have manage to become more financially capable. My dad's parents
however, ended up both poor. All of a sudden we have
relatives...I wonder why. I have seen my grandma a total of three
times in my life. Never once did my dad's side of the family ever
cared about us, rarely a visit, barely a hello. My dad was their
first born son, and I was his oldest son... so in asian culture... I am
the man. But not in this family. I understand... they have
other priorities, I did not hate them for that, I just pretended we
never really knew each other. But I did hate them when they
seeked us for financial help. It bothers me that my dad continues to
support both of his parents (who have other kids). It bothers me
to see such a superficial relationship between blood.
Back to my half uncle who died. He's mentally insane, lives with
my dad's mom, and has a daughter about my age who is also somewhat
mentally retarded. His wife left them a long time ago.
Until my dad recently built them a house, they lived in a house
slightly bigger than my dorm room. My dad send his mom money,
monthly, and they live off of that. Btw, this is a man who I have
seen once in my life time, and have never spoken to.
For years, I hated them, living off of us like some sort of parasite,
worthless, clearly dragging society down. It's funny how death
makes you hate people less. Maybe part of you feel guilty, maybe you
realize that at life's end, the negative feelings you have about that
person probably does make a difference anymore.
Perhaps, you realize something new about life. That each person
was born into a different setting, different families, different social
class. Each person comes into life and grow up with different
gifts, different levels of intelligents, different abilities, different
opportunities. And the more I think about it, the more I
understand that those gifts and abilities and opportunities has NOTHING
to do with what i've earned. I simply lucked out. I could
have easily been born into a different family, and then never get the
opportunity to be where I am now. Maybe Spiderman was right...
with great power... comes great responsibility (HAHAHA.... :p)
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| When the VT incident happened, I purposely ignored the news, ignored
what people were talking about, and refused to find out what had
happened. After a week, a story of a VT professor sparked my
interest, and I started looking into it; the following is potentially a
very offensive opinion to a very touchy issue....
Here's a bulleted list of things that I've noticed and caused me to
question "What the hell is wrong with the world we live in?"
- On Monday morning, when this occured, I felt no grief, no pain, no
sympathy, I still do not. People died, it happens. Perhaps, in
our selfish little world, we only really care about those who we can
relate to or those close to us, few in this country really mourns the
lives of Iraqis being killed in this war, few in this country mourned
the lives of Vietnamese, Koreans, Japanese, during those wars.
Weather the deaths were of "enemies" or "innocents" shouldn't the loss
of SOMEONE'S LIFE causes one's heart to ache?
- After 33 people died (by a handgun!) the majority of society started
doing their "investigations." Why was he this way? What caused
this? Psychologist have their opinions, news correspondents have
theirs....I have mine. What nationality/ethnicity was the killer?
How was he when he was a kid? When did he come to America? How can he
kill so many people with a handgun? What were in those message he sent
out? THIRTY THREE PEOPLE DIED!! And all the media does is focused
on the crazy guy, but dont blame just the media. Any one who
understand the laws of supply and demand knows that many viewers are
extremely interested in this as well. Are our personal interest,
network ratings, so much more important than lives of others? (yes
there were some mentioning of the victims, their lives, their goals,
hopes and dreams; but the focus was on the gunman) No one will admit to
it, but our actions shows, the world will continuing spin (literally
and figuratively) regardless of how many lives are lost.
- Did someone bring up race? Race isn't the issue here, I dont
think. It's people's inherent nature to avoid blame, avoid
responsibility. Korean and Asian communities are bringing up the
fact that the news continually portrayed the killer as a South Korean,
instead of an American, pointing out his ethnicity, the fact that he
maintained his Korean citizenship. I think the Korean/Asian
communities might have a point here. Truly... an Amurican...
would never do such a thing. Amuricans are good, strong-valued
Christians, whose main concern is ALWAYS freedom and democracy for
OTHER countries. But then again, why do Koreans/Asians even NEED
to be defensive of their race?? THIRTY THREE PEOPLE DIED!! And people
are worried about how ignorant, hateful people will view their
race.
Those who died, and their families, I think it's a terible thing that
you've had to experience. But I dont feel your pain, I dont feel
your sorrow, I dont feel your grief. The lost of your child, your
friend, your loved one, did not make me any richer or poorer, did not
really take up any of my time, my efforts, nor my tears. Like the
majority of America (and the world), your lost really did not cost me
anything at all. Tomorrow, the next day, and the day after
that... when you wake up and realize that your child, your friend, your
loved one is no longer around, I, like the majority of America, will
wake up, put on my $150 pair of pants, grab my laptop and cell phone, turn on my iPod,
and walk out the door onto a beautiful sunny day.
To steal the idea of Morgan Freeman at the end of the movie
"Se7en," apathy is the deadliest problem, and even though the
world is a disgusting place, infested with humans, it is STILL worth
fighting for!!!!
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| Just found out one of my good buddy is engaged.
This makes me feel really really old. Now people in MY age group,
MY friends are getting married. It seems like just yesterday.... we
were freshmen sitting in the hub throwing napkins at each other, now
she's getting married. On top of people my age getting married,
my metabolism seems to be slowing down, my physical abilities isn't
what it use to be, i'll no longer be a student after 2 more months, I
cant stay up really late anymore, i cant drink a whole lot anymore, the
freshman at UW now are like half my age, my knees ache in the
winter!! I mean, I joke that I'm so old and what not, but I'm now
starting to have some sort of quarter-life crisis. pretty soon
someone in my circle of friends will have a kid, and then i'll be uncle
Minh, and i'll truly be sad.
DAMN IT I'm 22!!! i'm not suppose to feel old yet... AHHHHHHHHHHHHH i'm old... and fat
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| I'd never thought this day would come... but yet.. it has....
I am getting FATter.... i am growing some love handles. I can grab it
and pull it out, and kinda jiggle it a little bit. I mean, I'm not
even remotely close to getting a belly... but still... AHHHHH i'm
FAT
***
Also, I just went jogging for the first time since last spring. And my lungs have collapsed and i'm on
the verge of having a heart attack. Man, that was a tough 4 block
run!!!!
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| So... my middle school "girlfriend".... who was my "first" is getting
married, she's marrying some guy involved in politics, not sure what
that means. We were "together" for almost two years, doing stupid
stuff that kids in middle school did =p . Which now makes THREE
girls who was in some way involved romantically with me.... who are
married (or will be very soon). I'm not really sure how to
interpret this. It feels kinda weird. Like... hmmmmm i'm happy
for them (especially this one cause i'm still friends with her)... but
it still feels kinda weird. Which leads me to question..... what
the hell is wrong with me?
In other more important news... FINALS... school really really makes me
want to kill myself, as much fun as it is... i sometimes wish death
upon myself. 8 more days!!!!
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